From the moment I stepped out of bed that morning, I knew you would be born! I went to bed the night before with contractions. That was nothing new. I had been having contractions almost every evening until I went to bed for about a week. I had several days where I had contractions continuously for over 7-10 hours. But this day was different.The moment I stepped out of bed at 7AMI had a contraction. And it was stronger than the others I had been having the previous days and weeks.

Every 10 minutes that morning, I had contractions. I got Brady and Rachael up and ready for preschool. I drove them to school, and as I was getting them into the building had a couple of contractions. They were strong enough that I had to pause during them. In between them, I felt fine, just a little sore and tired.

I went to the store, and would lean against the cart during contractions.I remember calling Melissaand telling her about the contractions I was having. My mind would not allow labor to officially set in yet though.I still had things to do before you were born

I picked up Rachael and Brady from school, got us lunch, and still had contractions every 10 minutes, lasting about 30-40 seconds.

Somewhere around 3 or 4 PM, my mucous plug came out, with a bloody show. I called the midwife, Terri, to let her know things were actually progressing now!

It wasn’t until Rachael went to spend the night with Nana, and Brady was taken care of by Daddy, that your labor really began. It was around 5PM. Melissa and Laura came over, and we walked around the circle of our neighborhood. The first time around was easy. The second time around, I had to stop and work through contractions. By the time we reached the house, I had to lean over and focus on relaxing during contractions. I went up to take a shower, and instantly my contractions picked up. At this point, I told Daddy he should stay home tonight. I remember being in the kitchen, talking with Melissa, Laura and Daddy. I have no idea what conversations we had. I just remember leaning on the counter every 5 minutes or so, and being irritated that I couldn’t follow the conversations.

I then moved onto the birth ball. Leaning over it felt SO good. And as contractions were more and more intense, I got lower and lower on the ball, until finally I was almost in a yoga pose… my head resting on the ball, and my belly on the floor. I decided to go lie down.

I slowly made my way upstairs. I think it was maybe 9:00PM. I was so happy that I didn’t have to get in the car and drive anywhere, that I could just stay home and go to my comfortable bed! And it felt SO good to lie down.

My lower back was hurting, and Melissa and Laura were behind me, Jason at my head holding my hand. Contractions were much more intense, coming pretty close. I remember Jason trying to get in touch with Terri since she wasn’t there yet – I think he was worried she wouldn’t make it

When I got to the transition point, I pointed out the signs! Very funny that I was so alert – oh, I’m shaking, burping, I must be in transition. Melissa was rubbing my lower back and at one point it felt so good, and the next contraction, it didn’t feel good at ALL.

Terri got there, and told me the baby was coming, and would be here soon. It was really refreshing to have her there. She told me exactly what I needed to hear at that moment, as labor was so intense and contractions were double peaking – I was just really tired and ready for it to be over. She suggested I make a trip to the bathroom, so I slllloooowwwwly made my way there, thinking to myself on the way that “This is why people get medication! Not that I wanted any for myself though. I sat backwards on the toilet, my head was resting on a pack of toilet paper. It was so uncomfortable, but I couldn’t think to say it was. Jason asked if I wanted a pillow. “No, I’m fine”. But the plastic was sticking to my face and my cheek and forehead were all sweaty from it! It was really uncomfortable on the toilet, so I tried through 2 contractions and then had enough. I wanted to go back to bed.

I got up and walked about 5 steps when a contraction hit and pulled me onto the floor. I was on my hands and knees and could not get up. I could FEEL that I was overcome with hormones, and I felt like I was almost out of my body. It was such a strange feeling. The next contraction I heard the loudest pop, which echoed from the high ceiling in the bathroom. By some miracle, I had managed to land myself right on the shower curtain that had been laid out by Terri. I felt like I was peeing and just couldn’t stop it! The next contraction totally pulled me down – everything wanted me to push out, so I did. I felt like I would push the baby out with that one contraction it was so powerful. I remember yelling, “Can someone help me??!!” Terri came over, and I think you were actually about to crown. I was still on my hands and knees, and instead of pushing with contractions, I was blowing through them so you would come more slowly. Your head came out, along with that intense pressure, and with the next contraction came the rest of your body, slipping out into Jason’s hands.

We were sure that you were a girl, so I was quite surprised to hear Jason say “It’s a Boy!!” Terri passed you under to me, like a football almost, and I got up and held you. You were instantly smiling (there is a picture to prove it!) I don’t remember if you ever cried that night. I think the peacefulness of your entrance into your own home certainly made you an instantly happy baby!

After lying in the bathroom area where we had you for a little while, waiting for the placenta to come, I walked with you to the bed. You nursed and nuzzled, we hung out for a while. Our favorite movie The Firm was on the TV for some reason! A couple of hours later I took a quick shower, changed into my PJ’s, and crawled into bed with you for the night, and stayed there for the next 2 days, nursing and cuddling with this sweet little baby!

I loved being at home, and I love being able to show people the exact spot where Will was born! Although my hospital experiences were both great, being in your own surroundings with people you know and trust is a whole different experience I can’t begin to explain. Once labor really started, it was about 5 hours. It never slowed or paused, and I am fairly certain that having no fears and no questions about when to leave, what to do, and other things that come into play when you have to leave your nest, played a big role in that. It was so simple, so normal, it was just like another day hanging out with friends… with a big surprise at the end.

After the not entirely successful attempt at a homebirth with my son Tyler, I was very keen for this birth to turn out the way I wanted, at home.

As with Tyler, I had a lovely uneventful pregnancy, cared for by my wonderful midwife.

I went to bed on the Wednesday night, and was almost asleep, when I felt a 'pop' and a small gush of water emerged.

I continued to leak for the rest of the night, and had very mild period like pains, which I mostly slept right through.

Upon waking on Thursday morning, I had a couple of mild pains, nothing much at all, and the leaking, and bloody show stopped altogether.  I thought it was all a bit of a false alarm, so dh went to work, but he rang me within the hour, and told me he had decided to come home after all.  I was pretty relieved, as I had started to get a few more mild pains, and my waters had begun leaking again. This pattern continued until around 3:30pm, when quite suddenly my contractions began to have real 'bite' to them, they were about 10 minutes apart, so I was not really concerned about my mw getting here too quickly, and told her I would ring when they got closer.

In the meantime I had rung my doula, and she was on the way, in really heavy traffic.  I probably had about a dozen of these pretty excruciating contractions all up, and remember thinking to myself, "Why the heck am I here at home, what an idiot, I want DRUGS!"

During the latest contraction, I found myself making these really guttural grunting noises, and thought, wow, that almost felt as though I wanted to push! but thought how silly is that, I couldn't possibly be needing to push yet.

The next contraction was a doozy, and I yelled out to Ian "Omg! I'm pushing!" Well, he completely freaked out, as an unassisted birth is his worst nightmare.
He immediately rang our mw, all he said was, "You've gotta come now! She's pushing!" - didn't even say who he was, he was in such a panic.

At this stage I was still in the living room, pacing around and leaning on the furniture, when quite suddenly I felt an intense need to take my skirt and knickers off, and I was on my hands and knees, as I couldn't stand up anymore, and proceeded to crawl up the hallway to my bedroom, which was the designated birthing room, calling instructions to dh to get a plastic sheet down, and a bedsheet for me to kneel on.

So this is how our doula found us, with Ian applying hot towels, bliss! and she started giving me firm massage on my lower back.I

an's relief at no longer being alone with me was palpable, he visibly relaxed.
Our mw arrived about 20 minutes later, and I had been having great pushing contractions, so she could see about a 10 cent sized piece of head on view with each push.

That urge to push is just so lovely, so completely uncontrollable. I never had an urge with my last birth, so it was all new territory for me.

Although I was well on my way, pushing still continued for a good hour, until I could feel baby was almost crowning, and his head actually came out about half way, so I was at full stretch OWWWW!!!! and stayed there, OWWWWW!!!! until the next contraction 4 minutes later.

I pushed much too hard, and tore a bit, and my mw was telling me to slow down as the cord was around the neck, but I couldn't, and my mw managed to get the cord off anyway, and out my little baby shot, like a wee missile! He was born at 7:22pm, and was 8lb 2oz.

I have been reading Sarah Buckley's book, 'Gentle birth, gentle mothering' and she talks about the 'feotal ejection reflex' where you have a few really massive pushes at the very end to get baby out, and I can clearly remember thinking to myself just before baby was born, and the head kept feeling like it was sliding back in, "Where the HECK is my feotal ejection reflex!!!!!" I'm such a geek sometimes!

As baby was around a week 'early' he had an amazing amount of vernix on him still, was very white.

He was a little wheezy, had swallowed a bit of mucous, or amnio fluid, so our mw sucked some gunk out of his nose and mouth, and we gave him a little O2.
The placenta came out very easily (compared to last time) and at last I could relax!

Baby latched on nicely to the (left, of course!) breast and fed well, he almost hasn't stopped since!

My older son Tyler (2) was just amazing throughout the whole thing, he was either bouncing up and down on the bed in the birthing room, or reading a book, or playing with toys etc, he was quite interested, but never distressed, gave me a few funny looks when I was at my most vocal, but was pretty much cool as a cucumber.

Our doula was just great with him, I don't know what we would have done without her.

I did end up having to be stitched, which was a little traumatic, I'm not the best with needles, especially ones being injected into my vagina!

As the sewing up was being done, my partner ran into the room, really excited, as there was a seven foot multicoloured snake curled up on the doorstep, looking all the world like a guardian. So that was a special addition to the atmosphere, an uninvited, but most welcome guest at the proceedings!

I'm absolutely over the moon, despite feeling pretty shattered, I DID IT! I had my homebirth!

I went to sleep about 11pm thinking it would be nice to get a nap and wake up in labor at about 2.  At 2am on the dot, I woke with a fairly intense contraction.  Contractions weren't very close together-about 8 to 10 min, but were strong enough to get me out of bed.  I putzed around for an hour and then woke dh at 3 so that he could arrange coverage at work. Of course he didn't believe we were really having the baby, so he wanted to wait until 4, and then 5.  At around 4, we started cleaning up the house for all the company we'd be having.  At 5, I called my midwife and my mother, and dh finally called his job.  By then contractions were about 3-6 minutes apart, but I was feeling whiny and nauseated.  I kept thinking it was going to be a long day b/c the contractions were so spaced out that I couldn't possibly be anywhere near birth.  

I was feeling contractions all the way around my waist-not really back labor, but the cramping extended around the sides of my waist.  And I could feel small parts at the front of my baby belly, so I was fairly sure that the baby was posterior.  I kept trying to get into hands and knees for him to turn, but it didn't seem to help and I couldn't tolerate the position for long.  I got in and out of the tub several times, heating the water as hot as I could each time. I just felt so much better in the water.  

When the midwife arrived at around 6, I was 4-5cm, farther than I expected.  I still felt like I wasn't really close to birth, and I was worried that my mental state wasn't right for so early in labor. Between contractions I joked and talked, but I had to breathe through them.  Mom, my husband and the midwife took turns sitting in the bathroom with me.  When I started "sounding" with contractions, I heard the midwife tell dh "She's getting close". Contractions were still pretty spaced out, so I thought she was wrong and again worried about my mental state and my ability to make it through labor.  Dh started telling me I'd better get out of the tub b/c he didn't want a water birth.  I reluctantly did.  When I vomited, I finally started to believe that I might be in transition.  I sat through a couple of contractions on the toilet, and began to feel some pressure.

I moved to the bedroom and sat on the side of the bed.  With each contraction I sounded louder and louder.  As I felt more pressure, the sound went from a low pitched "ohhhhhh" to almost a growl partway through the contraction.  Dh sat behind me with his shoulder against my back and leaned into me with each contraction.  I noticed at one point that I was pushing and instead of "ohhhing" was now just bellowing through each contraction.  I heard my 5yo ask why I was making so much noise, and my mother explained that the baby was almost ready to be born.  Even while pushing the contractions were never closer than about 3 minutes. Between them, I couldn't talk anymore but I could hear my family talking-the kids were so excited and my mom was planning where they could stand to watch the birth.  I bellowed through about 5 contractions. My water finally broke, with a little meconium in it.  The midwife got out a Delee.  On the next contraction I roared out Isaiah's head, and then his body.  The kids were watching from the doorway.  My first response was just relief that it was over.  Isaiah was born straight OP, which explained why pushing took so long.  He was born at 8:35am, 6.5 hours after I woke up, weighing 7lb 12oz.  I spent most of that time thinking I still had a long way to go and wondering why my emotional signposts weren't making sense with the labor I was having, lol.

The warmth of the early July suns greets me through my bedroom window, caressing my tired and aching body as a familiar tightening pulls across my swollen belly.  I am awake now.  It is four days before my fourth baby’s estimated due date and I grow giddy.  Convincing myself to lie back down, as it is merely a quarter to six in the morning, I snuggle against my slumbering three-year-old son, remembering the beautiful way he slipped into this world after seven hours of labor.  Maybe I will hold my newest bundle in my arms by lunchtime, I think to myself excitedly.  Time slides by as more waves move through my body, giving me confirmation that this is the day I will meet my baby. 

The day begins, kids get up, and breakfast is made.  I realize the pleasure in choosing a homebirth is normalcy.  My family is free to go about their normal routine. There is excitement in the air, but no stress to pack a bag or scramble to the hospital.  I have no worries about who is going to care for my three children or how they will manage with momma away from them for several days.  The waves continue to come.  I need to stop and pay attention to the growing surges, now about nine to ten minutes apart.  A steamy shower eases the growing ache in my back, washing the edges of hurt away.  Music floods in from my bedroom; Sarah McLachlan croons about ordinary miracles and I think how this is exactly what she is talking about. It is now close to nine in the morning and my husband brings me a small breakfast, joking how it is unlikely I will keep it down.  He too thinks it won’t be long and suggests I give our midwife a call.  I tell him that I wish to wait until the waves are closer together before I rouse her.    

Hours pass by unnoticed.  I rock on the birth ball, circling my pelvis around in a dance.  My stepdaughter presses on my sacrum as I lie in a knee to chest position on the bed, softly moaning about the growing ache in my back.  My husband takes me for walks in the humid July sun, stopping to talk to neighbors, astonishing people that we are here walking the streets of our own neighborhood rather than a hospital hall.  The kids eat lunch and the quiche I froze for this occasion is taken out of the freezer for dinner. Two p.m. dawns and I think how much longer and harder this is than I had thought it would be.  I call Ann, our midwife, and let her know that while today is the day, there is no need for her to come yet.  I hear the nervousness in her voice talking to a fourth time Mom in active labor, however, I know my body and know that the birth is not imminent.  The waves continue to grow in intensity, blurring the edges of time as I work through them, allowing them to run through my body, to open it up so I can at last welcome my baby. 

Ann calls again, still sounding unsure that she should not have already been at my home.  I tell her to come in about an hour, now finally feeling the drain from a day of waking too early and doing this hard work called labor.  The shower becomes my best friend.  It is a place where I am free to rock and moan and sway with hot water pounding my back and belly, melting away what could easily become pain if I allow it.  It is now six p.m. and Ann arrives.  Feeling frustrated, I ask her to go ahead and check my cervix.  She announces that I am open six centimeters and I feel like breaking down inside. Frustrated at having done so much work already, and still having a long way to go, I think of my last births.  My first baby, a daughter, had been born after fourteen hours of labor that included three hours of pushing.  I had always felt that had I not had an epidural with her and could have felt my contractions that she would have been born much sooner.  My next baby, a son, was born un-medicated with a midwife after a little more than eleven hours, and then my last, another  son, after a mere seven hours. 

Going for another walk, the hot summer sun begins to set.  The air is cooler and a breeze floats by.  Time, the universe and everything in between ceases to exist.  I am suddenly in my room, rocking on my hands and knees, hot washcloths pressing into the low of my back, sweating and moaning.  I want to yell at my stepdaughter and dear friend who are amazing enough to burn their hands while pressing scalding hot cloths on my back to make it hotter and press harder, but the words will not come.  Sounds, not of this world, rise out of my mouth as the waves move harder and faster through my body.  I worry about my children for a moment, remembering we had talked about the sounds momma would make and the countless birth videos they had watched, concerned that my loud noises were scaring them.  I look up to see their beautiful faces and smile. “Remember Mommy said she needs to make lots of noises to help the baby come out? They aren’t scary noises, they just help the baby come…ok?” 

They all nod before another surge rushes through me and I feel an uncontrollable movement down as my body starts to push without me and for a brief moment I think, but I’m not ready! My bottom starts to tense, fighting the sensations and I start blowing my lips like a camel to relax my pelvic floor.  I don’t want to fight this.  I want my baby to be born!

I am helped onto the birth stool next to my bed. My children form a semi-circle around me, and I am hit again with the wave of how amazing my choice to homebirth is.  My children are there, waiting to welcome their newest sibling to the world, with no one to usher them away.  Surges move through me again and I start to push down to work with my body.  I am scared but know I have to keep working for the reward of holding my baby.  My back aches more as I feel my baby move down through my cervix, arriving to slowly crown.  I feel a warm slippery head full of hair on my fingertips.  Ann says to me, “here comes your baby” and motions to my husband as Ava Christine slips into his hands at 11:47 p.m. on July 11. 

Swooping her up into my arms after 18 hours of labor all I can say to her is, “Thank you for coming out!”  She is beautiful, fat and pink, weighing 9 lbs 13 oz, with a head full of dark hair. We are tucked into bed as my 6-year-old son cuts her umbilical cord proudly.  I am served a queen’s feast of homemade quiche and red grapes as I am surrounded by the love of my beaming family.  Exhausted, Ava and I snuggle down together for the rest we both deserve.  Sleepy and with my ordinary miracle in my arms, I think how  every second of the last 18 hours was worth just to be able to arrive at this moment.