I had hoped to be sharing some really good news with everyone very soon and to include you all in my newest journey, but not this time I’m afraid. We found out on Father’s Day that we were expecting a baby. I was excited and nervous (it’s been 10 years!). But on July 9, I miscarried.
This has been one of the most difficult things I have ever gone through both physically and emotionally. I have had a really difficult time finding good resources and support. It’s become painfully obvious that this is an issue that is glossed over in our culture. The statistics I have found say that roughly 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. That number seems big enough for me to believe we need more resources and support for families that go through a miscarriage and that we need to TALK about it. I was completely unprepared even for the physical toll this process would take on my body – the pain and the hormonal roller coaster. It has been very difficult.
Family and friends are often at a loss as to what to say or do. And from my internet research, this is very common. So if you know someone who has experienced pregnancy loss, here are some tips.
- This isn’t anyone’s fault. – About 20-25% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage for various, often unknown, reasons.
- She would appreciate your support. – Call her and ask what she needs. Make her some dinner. Miscarriage can be very difficult physically and mentally – so much so that she may not even think to ask for help herself.
- Be careful of what you say. – Avoid things like “you can always try again” and “it was probably for the best.” It’s important that she can honor her loss and her grief in her way and in her own time. Saying things like “I’m sorry for your loss” and “Let me know if there is anything I can do to help” are simple, safe, and appreciated.
I hope to share more about my experience over the next few months. As I find resources, I will share them with you. For now, if you feel comfortable, it would be wonderful if you would share some of your favorite pregnancy loss resources with me 🙂
Baby Steps offers natural and prepared childbirth classes, breastfeeding classes and support, and doula services in the metro Atlanta area. Current locations include East Point, Douglasville, Marietta, Kennesaw, Buckhead, Sandy Springs, Lawrenceville, and Decatur. If these locations are not convenient for you we also offer private, in-home classes on your schedule. Contact us for more information. firstname.lastname@example.org