Michael got home at around 6 and we all sat down and ate. They were still coming what seemed like every few minutes and Michael was sure I was in labor but I still wasn’t convinced. He decided to go to the chiropractor as he had originally planned, so he left and I started cleaning up from dinner and straightening up the house. At some point after he left, they started to get stronger. I decided to call him to see how much longer he would be, I wanted him home with me. He told me I should call my mom to come and pick Haden up, which I decided to do even though at that point I still had my doubts about it being the real deal. After that I didn’t really like doing anything else around the house. They got to the point where I didn’t want to be upright during them anymore, so every time I had one, I would get down onto my hands and knees. Haden kept trying to comfort me during them by giving me hugs and telling me it was going to be okay. He’s such a sweet boy.
Michael got back, saw me and starting pulling out the birth pool and blowing it up. Not long after that my mom showed up to get Haden. They were already a little bit stronger then and I wanted to be more vocal during them. My mom and Haden left and after that, things seemed to speed up. I went into the bedroom and kept getting on the bed on hands and knees for them. Then I made a pallet with pillows to lean on. They kept getting more intense and I kept getting more vocal, moaning through them. Michael started taking breaks from trying to get everything set up so that he could be with me during the contractions. He turned on some music for me (Enya & Enigma) and started burning some essential oils, setting the mood. 😉 It was really nice and helped me start relaxing some.
Contractions were very intense and I remember Michael being behind me with his pelvis pressed into my butt while he leaned over me and wrapped his arms around me. So he could hold my belly, where all the tension was during contraction and he would help me sway my hips back and forth and talk me through it. It felt like a cross between dancing and making love and I remember thinking how sexual it felt. In between contractions I think I joked that if we had been in a hospital right then, that we probably would have given some of the staff a heart attach. lol Then again if we had been in a hospital we probably never would have been doing that in the first place.
After a bit I told Michael I had to have the water. I just knew I needed to be there because nothing else was going to make me feel better. So he worked on filling the tub up for me and as soon as it was full enough for me I hopped in. As soon as I hit the water, I felt relieved. Just… more right. I think I told Michael that women having babies were meant to be in the water. I remember thinking that I didn’t know how women could give birth unmediated without water, even though I have seen many of them do it. Things picked up even more once I was in the water, to the point were I thought that pain was way more than what I had expected and I thought I must be insane. Why didn’t I just go to the hospital for an epidural like everyone else? I could be laid back feeling nothing… which at that moment sounded like a good thing. lol
In between contractions Michael was rubbing my hair and giving me soft kisses on my face. It was so relaxing, in between the contractions I could almost completely forget that I was in labor at all, I was like mush but then I would get slammed again. The sensations were so extreme, it felt like a life force trying to split me apart. I kept thinking that if I weren’t closer to the end that I didn’t know if I would make it. During one contraction Michael leaned down and kissed and nibbled on my ear and my neck and the contraction was like an explosion going through my body. I remember fussing at him, accusing him of making them stronger. lol It was so strong it made me nauseous and when it was over I told Michael that I was going to throw up, to get me a bowl. And I did. Up came my homemade minestrone soup. Eww.
The taste in my mouth was so gross that I forced myself to get out of the pool to go brush my teeth because I knew the taste was going to be too distracting. I had a couple of really sucky contractions in the bathroom and hurried back to the pool as quick as I could. After that they only got more intense. I wanted to cry and give up. I kept telling Michael that I couldn’t do it anymore and he would tell me I could… and I knew that I could. There was so much pressure and I just wanted to fight against it. I said out loud that I needed to quit fighting it. So I tried to keep my body as loose as was possible and just kept going. The pressure was finally so much that I had to do something about it and so I pushed without ever actually consciously deciding too. And it felt good! Well, compared to what it felt like before. lol
When I told Michael he said that if it felt good I should keep pushing during them and just listen to my body. The “mind” of me was debating in my head about this, thinking that I hadn’t been in labor very long and that if I wasn’t dilated all the way pushing against my cervix would be bad. I decided to get out of my head and listen to my body… and Michael and pushed during the contractions. I think I pushed during 2 more and then I felt her. I put my finger inside me and I could feel her head! My bag hadn’t broke so I could feel that and water moving back and forth as I moved my fingers and when I pressed harder I could feel the firmness of her head. I was so excited. I told Michael it would be very cool is she was born in the caul but during the next contraction the bag broke as I was pushing. Michael has that contraction on video and when it happened I said “I broke”. lol
My excitement was short lived though because the contraction after that, I pushed and it brought her right down to crowning. There was no one step forward, 2 steps back. Her head was pushing on my tissues with such a force that it was almost unbearable. I wanted to not push because of the pain and at the same time I had no choice. I could see her head and everything stretching and I though for sure that I would just split open, that all my vaginal tissues were just going to rip and tear. I used my fingers to try and help stretch the tissues but I didn’t feel like it was doing any good. I tried changing positions, hoping that she might slide back up or something. I told Michael that it hurt so bad and that I just wanted to push her back up inside and I clenched my legs together trying to will her to slid up some. But it didn’t work. lol
I got back into knelling position and then during the next contraction I just put all my force into it to try and bring her out. I roared during the contraction. Literally. I had too. I needed its force to get through the contraction and to push with all my might and… it worked. Her head came out. OMG, what a relief. I felt like crying, maybe I did. I can’t be sure. I just kept touching her head, amazed that she was almost there and then with the next contraction I pushed and she slid the rest of the way out. I grabbed her and pulled her onto my chest. I was ecstatic. I kept saying she’s perfect. She’s perfect. She was pink and screaming and perfect. Then I thought to lift her up and actually verify she was a girl & of course she was. We knew she was a girl.
It’s funny that my birth went nothing like I had thought that it would. My favorite types of birth videos have always been like Birth As We Know It and videos such as that. I guess when I imagined my birth I always kind of saw it like those. lol. I am apparently not an earthy birthy, make it look serene type of birther. It was gritty and loud. I moaned, I thrashed, I cried and I whined. It was beautiful and intense and scary. And I was a warrior, like we all are.
Addison Lynn Bowden was born at 9:40pm after approx. 5 hours and 20 minutes of labor. She weighed 9 lbs. 1 oz. & measured 18 inches long.